June 28, 2011

Absence

I realize it's been some time since my last post or tweet or newsletter. And if you've emailed me recently and have not heard back yet, there is a reason.

Pete and I went on a little trip to the beautiful Northwest – which included some visits with quilter/designer friends and to fabric stores in Portland and Seattle (future post, i hope). On the last day of our trip, we learned that Pete's father had been diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. We got an earlier flight home and went straight from the airport to the hospital to be by John's side.

The two weeks following were very hard and filled with a pendulum of emotions that swung between hope and sadness, disbelief and awareness, but eventually came to rest in an oasis and sanctuary of love. Sadly, John died last week in the arms of his three children and his oldest, dearest friend. It was just two days before his 72nd birthday.

I will remember John with great fondness, always – not only as Pete's kind and loving father, but also as a witty, generous, eloquent and dear friend and fellow curious mind. He was a vibrant conversationalist, and it seemed that John and i could talk about anything – from quilting, baseball, travel and history to art, music, and cuisine (including our mutual favorite food group: hot dogs). No matter what the topic, we'd end up improving each other's appreciation for things and deepening our connection to each other. And sometimes we'd hit on something that would make each other laugh to tears. Oh how i will miss John so deeply, but am grateful for the time i got to know and love him.

If you will be spending the 4th of July with your family, hug them a little tighter and a little longer.

My best wishes to you all.

xo,
kate

47 comments:

  1. Oh Kate I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. When someone we love dies suddenly it makes us realise how precious life is and how we should never ever take them for granted. Many times I said I would do this for my Mum or Dad but there was always something else that I needed to do first until one day I couldn't do what I had planned for them. I think we sometimes think our parents will be here for ever, it never crosses our minds that they wont be here one day. I try to tell people to cherish every minute but, until it happens to you - you don't quite understand. My best wishes to you both. Big Hugs Linda x

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  2. Oh Kate, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending big hugs your way...

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  3. What a beautiful post. I am sorry for your loss but am so glad you found solace through it. John sounds like an amazing man and I am sure he will be missed greatly.

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  4. Such a loving tribute to your father-in-law. Sounds like he was a great person. I'm sorry he is gone, but so thankful he didn't have to suffer long. You have such wonderful memories that will carry you through. I bet you never eat a hot dog again without thinking of him and smiling.

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  5. Kate, So sorry for your loss. Hold tight to those lovely memories.

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  6. Kate,
    My heart goes out to you. I'm grateful that he did not have to suffer long and had his family with him at the end. Sadly Cancer doesn't discriminate and takes some of the best people from us. Sending lots of love & hugs. -J

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

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  8. Beautiful relationships and friends are hard to lose. My heartfelt sympathy to you and husband at this sad time.and so glad there are a lot of beautiful memories. Judy C sends her best wishes

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  9. Kate, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. xxx

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  10. Thank you, Kate. You've described Dad perfectly. He was very proud of you and loved you dearly. Cath

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  11. :'(
    So sad...
    I'm glad he was surrounded by love, and Godspeed healing to all of you.

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  12. I'm so sorry Kate and Pete. My deepest sympathies are with you.

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  13. Having come through cancer I know how precious life can be, I am sorry that John didn't make it but I am glad he didn't suffer too long and his loved ones were with him. He sounded like a wonderful loving man. Blessings and prayers to you Pete and his family.

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  14. Oh I am so sorry to hear that Kate. Hugs to both you and your husband.

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  15. Sorry for you... My granmother, my dad's mother, went in the same way. So sad! I ofthen thnik how does she love us... and I don't know if I gave her the same love... I think I didn't. I would like to. I miss her...
    But I _know_ she's with me and lovee me and feel my love...
    Hugs to you..

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  16. Deepest sympathies to you, Pete and the rest of his family. I hope all the fond memories take the sting out of the grief that you are going through.

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  17. My deepest sympathy. What a beautifully written tribute to a special man.

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  18. Sorry to hear of your loss. Your post described your love for him well. He must have been a beautiful person:)

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  19. So very sorry for your loss. Such lovely words written about what must have been a special man.

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  20. oh kate.
    sending big hugs yall's way.
    <3

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  21. I am so sorry to read that. What a wonderful description you wrote, though. <3

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  22. So sorry to hear your sad news, Kate. You and your family have been blessed to have someone so special in your lives.

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  23. I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great man.

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  24. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of time with your father in law. Keep those memories close, as you process through your loss.

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  25. Kate, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to John was beautiful and eloquent--I hope and pray that you and Pete and your family not only will have strength during this difficult time but also that you will be able to keep your memories dear to your hearts. Hugs, Sherri

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  26. I'm tearing up reading this and am so sorry for your loss. Your words resonate with me both because my father in law has had health problems in the past year, and because my father died when I was in college, and both Lawson and I are really sad that they never got to meet. I'm glad you all got to be with him when he passed, and will be thinking of you and Pete and your families. -hugs-

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  27. I'm so sorry for your family's loss....It's nice to know how well you got along with your FIL!! Our prayers are with you guys! xoxoxo

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  28. I'm so sorry for your loss, and you're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  29. My sincerest condolences for your loss and Pete's. And let me echo what others have said, your tribute to John is lovely and loving and reflects a warm and kind man. My heart goes out to you both and the family's.

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  30. I had been thinking about you! I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I understand. I lost my dad to lung cancer, too. I appeciate how eloquently you described Pete's father. At least you are comforted in that you knew him well and were able to share so many things with him! Blessings to you and your family.

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  31. John was a wonderful person, from how you describe him. You will always love him as the man he was!

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  32. Sorry for your loss, I feel for your family as you deal with the loss. I too lost my father-in-law in February unexpectedly. You and your family are in our prayers!

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  33. I'm so sorry Kate. That is such a huge emtional circle to be in too in losing someone to that type of disease. I lost both my parents that way and it's just so hard to watch. On one hand you are so thankful for the time to say good-bye, but on the other hand it hurts horribly watching them suffer if even for the short period of time you had as well. I know there is nothing more that anyone can say to take those feelings away but as you said, those happy memories will be in your heart forever and that's the best part; no one can take your happy memories away.

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  34. So incredibly sorry for your loss. Your post is beautiful - he must have been a fine man and wonderful friend. You're all in my prayers.

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  35. So sorry to read this Kate. Our entire family sends our love and hugs to Pete and you during this time of sorrow and sadness.

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  36. Kate, thank you for sharing on your blog. Many sympathies on your loss.

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  37. Oh Kate, so sorry to hear this. Cancer has a way of getting to those we love best. I pray for you and Pete and the entire family to find comfort in the love of each other and of John and of all of us who care for you and are thinking of you now.

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  38. You were right, Kate. I'd been wondering why your were missing from the blog "route" I click each day.

    I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of John and I know that the memories you shared with us will help during the days and months ahead. My thoughts are with you and Pete during this sad time.

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  39. Oh how sad Kate. I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss. What a lovely tribute you've written about your father-in-law -- you've written it so beautifully. XO

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  40. Kate, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing what a wonderful man John was. Praying for you.

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  41. So sorry for your family's loss! I wish you peace through this difficult time.

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  42. Dear Kate, thank-you for sharing your grief. It is truly sad news and never an easy road to travel when you lose a family member. Deepest sympathy to you and your husband and family in the loss of your loving friend and father-in-law, John. Praying for much comfort and grace to help you through this difficult time.

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  43. I'm so sorry Kate! My thoughts are with you, Pete and his family. John sounds like an amazing person and I'm thankful he was surrounded by so much love.

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  44. Hi Kate! Sorry to hear about your father-in-law... He will live long and be much loved in your heart. It as very hard for me when my FIL passed away from cancer, his was lost to follow-up, he probably would have survived many more years. It will be his birthday this week, so I will say a prayer for both of our FIL's an for us too!
    Take care, Leslie

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  45. I've not been keeping up with blogs, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like a wonderful friend and father will be missed very much.

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  46. So sad for you and your family Kate. The loving memories come back to hold you. Same thing happened to my Dad it is very hard to bear. Sending you many caring hugs. Chris

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  47. So very sorry for your loss. I lost my father to lung cancer ten years ago... I know your pain. You made a lovely tribute to him with you post. I wish you many moments of reflected smiles as you remember all the wonderful things he was to you.

    My best.

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